I'm terrified of aging. Confronting the fact that I'm turning another year older sends me into a tail spin. Since I was about 15, I think I've felt this way. I always tend to start having morbid dreams in December, finding creative new ways to die. When I was turning 18, I had a dream that I fell from a building. When I was turning 19, I dreamt a steel spike was drive through my chest. When I turned 20, I saw my head exploding.
I don't know what terrifying dream I have this year. I don't know if this is some sick way of my subconscious telling me I should probably find a girlfriend and have sex, because I might be headed to some really fucked up shit soon. I don't know.
Maybe I should invest in antidepressants or something. Maybe a stress ball. That'd be a good place for you to start for buying me a birthday present.
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