No exit

Systematically, one by one, each person I called "friend" in my life has stopped talking to me over the last few weeks. The trend began about a four months ago, and at this point I have a cell phone that never rings, a computer with AIM that never gets an instant message, a blog with no feedback, and generally a vapid and lonely existence. If it weren't for my own personal eccentricities, I quite honestly believe I would have absolutely fucking lost it by now. Thankfully, my peculiar and quirky nature have allowed me to remain (mostly) self reliant upon my own entertainment capacities.

It's really quite interesting what you can do when the only thing you have to entertain yourself is your own mind. In my head, for instance, I've been lost in thought for hours upon hours. The thoughts range from sports, social interaction, psychological quirks, music, political debate, and attempts to write movie scripts. All of this spans the whole range of whatever crazy, nonsensical cognitions which populate my head.

Quite honestly, I don't really know I'm still sane at this point. I'm still waiting to snap and start ripping open people's chests and eating their hearts. Of course, by admitting this, I'm sure now I really do seem crazy, and now even more people will avoid me. It's a damn endless cycle, I tell you. The snake eating it's own tail. It's funny, I bitch about wanting to be surrounded by other people, yet when I finally gain what I demand and prostrate for, I immediately wish I was alone and confined to solidarity. Yet, faced with my requested solitude, I yearn and dream of the day when I will one be comforted by my multitude of loving and adoring peers.

I suppose Hell really is people.