My view as Atlas

My life definitely isn't normal. The events of peoples lives, those moments which define people, that people look back upon with fondness and nostalgia, these moments are depressing and crushing for me. I never went to junior prom. I did go to senior prom, but it was a comedy of events unlike any the world has ever seen. First, I couldn't find a date, so I ended up taking my sister's friend who has been strung out on coke since she was 13. While driving my father's car to prom, I rear ended the car in front of me and rolled up to prom with the front bumper of the car I was driving hanging off. I don't actually remember prom itself. There was music and lights and dancing, but I only remember emotions of angers and shame and fear tinging my vision that followed everything I did.

Other life defining moments that have been ruined by my existence? My first kiss. My graduation. Freshman year of college. Getting my driver's license. Playing football. Everyday of my life is tinged with tragedy and melancholy and failure. I honestly question my existence in this world. Am I here for the sole purpose of making other people's lives better? Am I the focus of misery and unfortunate circumstances in this world? I never asked to bear this pain and suffering. I can't stand it.

I don't have pleasant memories. I wish my mind could be erased and filled with happier things. Fake memories are better than real memories of pain.